BREAKING: Recruitment Agency Rebrands to “No News Is Good News”, So As Not To Provide Candidates With Feedback

BRUSSELS—In a bold move that industry experts are calling ‘revolutionarily transparent’, a prominent recruitment company has rebranded itself as “No News Is Good News”. The change, they say, is to align their brand with their long-standing policy of not providing feedback to candidates.

In what can only be described as a masterstroke of honesty, the recruitment firm, formerly known as “Opportunity Knocks”, has decided that silence is indeed golden. Their new motto? “If you don’t hear from us, it’s probably for the best.”

“We realised that our old name was creating unrealistic expectations,” said the CEO during the rebranding launch. “Candidates were under the impression that we would actually contact them with updates. But, let’s be real, who has the time? With our new name, the message is clear: no news, no problem.”

The rebranding has been met with a mix of shock, admiration, and a collective nod from thousands of ghosted candidates. One job seeker commented, “It’s refreshing to see a company embrace their true nature. Now, when I don’t hear back, I can just assume it’s part of their brand promise.”

In a follow-up press release, the company stated, “We believe in setting clear expectations. Our new name perfectly encapsulates our commitment to, well, not committing to anything.”

As part of their rebranding, the company’s auto-reply emails have also been updated. They now read: “Thank you for your application. If you don’t hear from us, take it as a sign. Move on, maybe write a novel, learn a new language, who knows? The world is your oyster.”

Job seekers around the country have responded to the news with a mix of resignation and a newfound appreciation for zen philosophy.